What God Intended (for 'the Excellent Wife')

Unfortunately, there's no accountability for this comment (shared below) that I got yesterday. So, I'm just going to blog about it. I put a plea above my comment box for comments to be respectful and edifying. That didn't work. So, made the bittersweet decision to take out the option for anonymous comments. This is bitter because I LOVE having conversations with people that don't think/believe/live like I do. It's sweet because I haven't had to be the recipient of unaccountable disrespect...until yesterday. I'm not sure if this commenter made up a false account or how they managed an account with no profile (probably just shows my lack of blogging knowledge). But there's no way to respond to them, sadly. So, instead of responding to them privately, I'm responding to them publicly - because their comment is worthy of a response.

So, here's the comment:

Two things - I can't believe people are still reading this book. Second, I can't believe you spend the time blogging about this nonsense. You are giving chrisitan women a really bad name and perception. What a disgrace! Why don't you stop "following" your husband's every word (or Martha Peace for that matter) and start thinking on your own - what God intended. Please Please throw this book away! It is crap!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it makes you sound so pathetic!

Doesn't this comment bring up a lot of great conversation pieces?! I would love to sit with [you] this commenter and chat for an hour or so! We clearly have different convictions and understandings of God's Word, but surely we could learn from one another....if we are willing to listen....and not just be heard.

So, this is where I'd start, if, of course, there was a way to contact the commenter,

Hi, "Elizabeth",

Thanks for commenting on my blog and thanks for your honesty! From your comment, I gather you would say you don't agree with the values in The Excellent Wife. Have you ever read it? I'm not trying to be sarcastic - it's a serious question. I'm led to ask that question because your encouragement is to "stop following your husbands every word and start thinking on your own - what God intended". This is an obvious misunderstanding of the objective of the book, and could only be so misunderstood by not reading it at all.

Would you allow me to clarify, to the best of my limited ability?

I can only share from what I've read from Martha Peace that she is committed to Jesus first and foremost (her husband comes only after the Lord). Her hearts desire for herself and for other Christian women is to see them glorify our Lord by living the life He has called us to. Fortunately, we know what He has called us to because He tells us in His Word,

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him...21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:18 and 21-24

Here the Lord clearly gives us our role - "helper"

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [1] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

And here the Lord calls us to submit to our husbands, as to the Lord. (and I'd like to note, if you keep reading, Christian husbands have a VERY demanding role as they lead their wives.) Unfortunately, the word "submit" makes many women cringe or even rebel. However, the word submission has lost its beauty and meaning. Submission is a role - it's active, not passive. I am actively involved in our home. I actively communicate with my husband. I actively share my opinions. I actively ask for his opinions. I actively share my heart when I feel he has sinned against me. I actively seek his forgiveness when I sin against him (by God's grace!). I actively give input into our daily lives and decisions we are making. I actively seek the Lord for my husband as he leads our family. These are not examples of me "following his every word". These are (very limited) examples of me being a helper to my husband - actively helping him and submitting to him. I am called to ACTIVELY submit to my husband as he leads our family. As otherwise misunderstood, this is in no way passive. Submission calls for self-control, humility, grace, and most of all, FAITH in my Lord that HE is ultimately leading my husband and our family. These are the challenges that Martha Peace is guiding and encouraging Christian wives through - she knows the character qualities we are called to as Christians are HARD and sometimes feel impossible to live out. BUT, it's what the Lord Jesus hashas called us to do, and if I could use your own words "what God intended" for Christian wives to do. Martha Peace wrote a book on "what God intended" for Christian wives using His very Words to us.

So, YES, women are still reading this book because there is a longing in our hearts - not to "follow our husbands every word", BUT to follow our God's every Word that He might be glorified through the grace that He gives us, and that we might follow our God's every Word for our joy, for our husband's joy, for our children's joy, and for the joy of generations to come.

4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 12:4

10 [4] An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself [5] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet. [6]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:10-31

(I would love to open this up for others b/c my response to "Elizabeth" is modest and imperfect at best)